Top 10 Air Travel Insecurities of 2010

Streetwise Security Edge - Episode 2: January 11, 2010

Due to technical difficulties this week, I was not able to capture the audio and video for the show this week. I'm struggling with the technical setup. It seems I can easily record shows on Ustream with me as the single host. However, when I tried to test out the "co-hosting" facility in Ustream, it caused too much audio lag, and was really unusable. I'm not sure why. This feature is supposed to work in Ustream.

However, I do have the coveted list of the Top 10 Air Travel Insecurities of 2010, submitted by our loyal contributor Jonathan Abolins...

Top 10 Air Travel Insecurities of 2010

10. The US Transportation Security Administration (TSA) still permits prescription liquid medications and other liquids needed by persons with disabilities and medical conditions. Nitroglycerin tablets for cardiovascular conditions OK. Nitroglycerine briefs are NOT considered legitimate medical supplies, especially if the prescription is for one-time use, no refills.

9. Passengers wearing loose fitting or bulky clothing - including headwear - may be subject to additional screening. This is not a good time fellows to adopt Elizabethan men’s fashions and wear bulky
codpieces. They should go in checked in luggage. Same goes for passengers who like to wear Carmen Miranda headdresses. But this is a good time for men to wear kilts (but please wear boxer shorts underneath).

8. While airports are great place for reuniting with loved ones, going the wrong way through a security checkpoint with your love is an inappropriate display of public affection.

7. There has been some buzz on the Internet about how the “full body scan” images can be “inverted” in Photoshop, resulting in a plausible looking “nude” image. Tin foil underwear anybody?

6. Air carriers may exempt from certain physical search measures passengers who are “Heads of State or Heads of Government”. But you might not qualify for being a Prom Queen or a municipal dog catcher.

5. Passengers must remain in seats beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination. Avoid drinking lots of fluids before or during the flight. Prepare for the lavatory queues forming 75 minutes prior to arrival. Be ready for some flights to be delayed for upholstery sanitisation.

4. While over U.S. airspace, flight crew may not make any announcement to passengers concerning flight path or position over cities or landmarks. Some security experts also recommend against flight crews
making comments like, “We’re over nothing important at all, no need to look out the windows.”

3. Passengers may not have any blankets, pillows, or personal belongings on the lap beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination. This also means they cannot sit on each others’ laps.

2. Older comedians should avoid easily misunderstood “shop talk” phrases like “I killed the audience last night” or “I bombed out at the Improv.”

1. Take a 1-quart resealable plastic bag to stow the last shreds of dignity and privacy as you go through the various checks.  Enjoy the Security Theatre along the way.

Source Documents

TSA Guidance for Passengers on Heightened Security Measures in Place
Following Dec. 25 Incident
http://www.tsa.gov/press/happenings/dec25_guidance.shtm

TSA: Imaging Technology
http://www.tsa.gov/approach/tech/imaging_technology.shtm

InfoWars.com - Digital STRIP SEARCH – Inverted Airport Body Scanner
Image Shows NAKED Bodies In Full Living COLOR!
http://www.infowars.com/digital-strip-search-inverted-airport-body-scanner-image-shows-naked-bodie s-in-full-living-color/

The Guardian (UK) - More passengers agree to full-body scan in UK airport trial
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/jan/07/full-body-scan-uk-airport

Washington Examiner - Will Celebrity airport body scans become the new sex tape?
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/Will-Celebrity-airport-body-s cans-beco-the-new-sex-tape--81014947.html

Elliot.org - Full text of SD 1544-09-06 authorizing pat-downs,
physical inspections
http://www.elliott.org/blog/full-text-of-sd-1544-09-06-authorizing-pat-downs-physical-inspection/< br />
NJ.com - Roommate says Haisong Jiang, arrested in Newark airport
security breach, was excited to see girlfriend
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/01/roommate_says_haisong_jiang_ar.html